Making the Invitation
Be encouraged! You are making change begin!
The next step is to invite your loved one to attend your Family Meeting. Write down the invitation in the form of a script - then live with it. Get to know the words, because they're unlike anything you've said in the past, and you want to deliver these words, this invitation, flawlessly.
Practice until the words become familiar and you have the courage to speak them out loud. When the invitation is made, the intervention has begun.
Here are several invitation examples:
#1
John we are having a family meeting this morning at eleven, with your Mom and me and your brothers, along with Aunt Vicki and Uncle Bob, and your boss. We asked Timothy from Sustainable Interventions, for help because we've just not known what to do. Timothy has been clean for 12 years and he suggested we have a family meeting, so that's what we're doing.
We're going to have the meeting with or without you, but it's important that you're there with us. We haven't known for quite a while how to handle this, so we've come together and prepared a change message that ewe've begun working on as a Family. Will you join us please?
#2
We love you! We've been struggling to figure out how to help you. We've been afraid of what's been going on with you. We've been afraid of doing the wrong thing. We asked Tim for help to sort things out. He's great and he's been sober for 12 years. He suggested we have a Family meeting, so that's what we're doing.
We will meet this Friday at 11am at Jenny's house to talk about changes we are embracing and how we can help you. We are family, and we love you. We want to talk with you instead of about you. Will you come?
The Response
One of three things will happen: they will respond positively, negatively, or somewhere in between. Without fail, a conversation will start, and the intervention process has now begun. If the want to talk about stuff with you, tell them that all of their questions will be addressed at the Family meeting. Again, ask if they will come.
Sometimes, the person will say, "What took you so long?" Other times they will say "F" you and hang up. Reconnect and calmly reiterate that as a group you are moving forward in change, and having the meeting. Again, ask the if they will attend. Resist the urge to go into great detail except to give them my number and invite them to call and get more information from me. Be honest and concise.
These are the points to stick with in between the invitation and family meeting:
Refrain from getting into the intervention before the intervention In other words, don't have the Family Meeting before The Family Meeting. Remember there is strength in numbers. Stick to the 5 Points above and stay united as the iTeam!
Stay in a place of hope. Don't fall into fear. Fear will push the hope out, and likewise, hope will push the fear out. We are together. We are connected. In love we are intervening to enable positive change in our own lives and the lives of our loved one.
The next step is to invite your loved one to attend your Family Meeting. Write down the invitation in the form of a script - then live with it. Get to know the words, because they're unlike anything you've said in the past, and you want to deliver these words, this invitation, flawlessly.
Practice until the words become familiar and you have the courage to speak them out loud. When the invitation is made, the intervention has begun.
Here are several invitation examples:
#1
John we are having a family meeting this morning at eleven, with your Mom and me and your brothers, along with Aunt Vicki and Uncle Bob, and your boss. We asked Timothy from Sustainable Interventions, for help because we've just not known what to do. Timothy has been clean for 12 years and he suggested we have a family meeting, so that's what we're doing.
We're going to have the meeting with or without you, but it's important that you're there with us. We haven't known for quite a while how to handle this, so we've come together and prepared a change message that ewe've begun working on as a Family. Will you join us please?
#2
We love you! We've been struggling to figure out how to help you. We've been afraid of what's been going on with you. We've been afraid of doing the wrong thing. We asked Tim for help to sort things out. He's great and he's been sober for 12 years. He suggested we have a Family meeting, so that's what we're doing.
We will meet this Friday at 11am at Jenny's house to talk about changes we are embracing and how we can help you. We are family, and we love you. We want to talk with you instead of about you. Will you come?
The Response
One of three things will happen: they will respond positively, negatively, or somewhere in between. Without fail, a conversation will start, and the intervention process has now begun. If the want to talk about stuff with you, tell them that all of their questions will be addressed at the Family meeting. Again, ask if they will come.
Sometimes, the person will say, "What took you so long?" Other times they will say "F" you and hang up. Reconnect and calmly reiterate that as a group you are moving forward in change, and having the meeting. Again, ask the if they will attend. Resist the urge to go into great detail except to give them my number and invite them to call and get more information from me. Be honest and concise.
These are the points to stick with in between the invitation and family meeting:
- We love you and have begun to change together
- The time for doing this on your own has passed
- We're having the meeting with or without you
- We will be talking about you, but would much rather talk with you, so come
- See number one
Refrain from getting into the intervention before the intervention In other words, don't have the Family Meeting before The Family Meeting. Remember there is strength in numbers. Stick to the 5 Points above and stay united as the iTeam!
Stay in a place of hope. Don't fall into fear. Fear will push the hope out, and likewise, hope will push the fear out. We are together. We are connected. In love we are intervening to enable positive change in our own lives and the lives of our loved one.